Why new year resolutions can increase anxiety
For many people, the pressure to set New Year’s resolutions can feel less motivating and more anxiety-provoking.
The expectation to change, improve, or “do better” all at once often ignores our emotional capacity, personal circumstances, and the fact that growth isn’t linear.
Some characteristics of resolutions that may increase anxiety are ones that come with all-or-nothing thinking, unrealistic timelines, shame spirals and internalised productivity pressure.
Just as the goals we make in life can be productive and healthy, some can also have a negative impact on our emotional and mental wellbeing. This might look like goals that ignore your capacity, goals that reinforce perfectionism, goals based on comparison and goals that disconnect you from your body.
Some signs that a goal might be harming you are those that make you feel constant guilt, you may avoid starting altogether, you feel anxious thinking about it, or you might tie your self worth to its progress.
As you begin your new year, here are some alternative ways to welcome in the new year.
Reframing Resolutions to Intentions
Resolutions often focus on outcomes and self-improvement, which can unintentionally reinforce the idea that something about us needs fixing. Intentions shift the focus to how you want to feel or relate to yourself and the world. Instead of “I will be more productive,” an intention might be “I want to feel more supported and less rushed.” Intentions allow space for change without pressure and can guide decisions gently throughout the year.
Set Capacity-Based Goals
Healthy goals start with an honest assessment of your current emotional, physical, and mental capacity. Capacity changes with stress, health, work, caregiving, and life circumstances. A goal that fits your life now, not the life you wish you had, is far more sustainable. Setting capacity-based goals reduces burnout, shame, and the feeling of constantly falling short.
Make Them Flexible & kind.
Rigid goals leave little room for being human. Flexibility allows goals to adapt when life changes, energy dips, or priorities shift. Kindness means offering yourself the same understanding you would give someone else and adjusting expectations rather than pushing harder. A flexible goal supports consistency without punishment.
Let Go of Comparison-Based Goals
Many goals are shaped by what others are doing, rather than what we actually need. Comparison-based goals often disconnect us from our own values and create pressure to perform or keep up. Letting go of comparison means asking: Is this goal meaningful for me? Growth that’s rooted in authenticity feels calmer and more sustainable.
Start Small (Smaller Than You Think)
Big goals can overwhelm the nervous system and trigger avoidance. Starting small builds trust and momentum. Small actions, even a few minutes at a time, are more likely to be repeated and integrated into daily life. Consistency matters more than intensity when it comes to long-term change.
Check the Motivation Behind the Goal
Before committing to a goal, it’s helpful to ask what’s driving it. Is it coming from care, curiosity, or self-support? Or from fear, shame, or pressure to be “better”? Goals rooted in self-compassion tend to feel supportive, while fear-based goals often increase anxiety and self-criticism.
Create “Supportive Practices” Instead of Rules
Rules are often rigid and binary, you either succeed or fail. Supportive practices are adaptable and responsive to your needs. For example, instead of a rule like “exercise every day”, a supportive practice might be “move my body in ways that feel good when I can.” Practices invite engagement without punishment.
Redefine Success
Success doesn’t have to mean achieving a specific outcome. It can look like showing up, noticing your needs, setting a boundary, or choosing rest. Redefining success helps reduce perfectionism and allows progress to be measured in ways that honour effort, awareness, and growth, not just results.
